Bittersweet Endings

 

 

Endings. 

I don't know why this hit me so hard today, but as I was going through my email alerts on my phone, I came across a post from USPS which shows physical photos of the mail you will be expecting that day to arrive.

Today was the first (another "First") where there was no mail that was addressed to either parent.

This stung bad for some reason.

Maybe subconsciously it was a comfort to see their names even though I know they are no longer here on earth, on something tangible that showed their existence. Maybe getting their mail, I took it as a "sign" from the universe that they are "still around" even though I cannot see them, hear them, touch them.

 I knew that one day I wouldn't be receiving their mail anymore. I didn't think that day would be today.

I didn't think that I would be reduced to tears staring at an empty mailbox that once held copious amounts of mail & packages addressed to my mom & Carl. It's almost haunting as absurd as that sounds.

Another day, Another "First", and I hate them both equally.