Ghosts from the past

 

So today had a couple of "jokes" of its own; specifically that of an ex-boyfriend from 1992-93.

I am generally not on Facebook as I find it to be a constant source and stream of drama that I just do not have the intellectual stomach for. I much prefer the simplicity and photography that is on Instagram.

Anyway, I had a message come in via Facebook Messenger this morning from someone I haven't thought of in literal decades; an ex. We will call him "Tom."

 Tom and I had dated in the early 90's, we met in High School and initially HATED each other.

It was my BFF at the time and his BFF that were dating that brought us together. It was a volatile relationship at best, but that is what seriously conflicting values and teenage stupidity will do to you.

I was co-dependent and bored, and he was immature and enjoyed recreational drug use.

This was not a relationship that was going to last. I was too "uptight" and "straight-laced", and he refused to grow up and stop with the drug use.

We broke up, but stayed friends after a cooling off period. He started hanging out with my friend and I, we would go out clubbing practically every weekend. Tom kept hinting on getting back together, but I think I was interested in and seeing someone else... I vaguely remember some punk ass dude that invited us to his Halloween Party and thank god Tom heard me yelling because he broke down the door to the room I was in with this guy who's name I can't recall, to pull him off me.

We left the party after that. I was ready to get the hell out of there! And I think Tom was protective and jealous. 

I don't remember when I stopped talking to Tom, I do remember him telling me that he wasn't happy with his life and didn't seem to have a clear healthy direction to take it in, so he was joining the military.

It wasn't a bad idea seeing as all his friends were going off to college, getting married, moving on with their lives and he was stuck in this sort of holding pattern.

By then, I had been dating someone else, fled the state to get away from said person (they wanted kids and marriage. I was TOO YOUNG to be thinking about that!) and ended up in Texas where I wanted to pursue my Veterinary Degree. 

During my time in Texas, I'm not sure how, but we ended up getting into contact with one another. We had a couple of conversations and then he just blurted out: "Do you want to get married?"

And then there is me on the other end of the phone with my mouth hanging open and a shocked look on my face. The very thing I jumped on a plane to get away from: Marriage.

 After I declined the offer, communication just dropped off and we went on with our lives.

Fast Forward to about 3-4 years ago, I ended up catching up with an old high school friend at dinner where Tom's name got brought up. He had been absent from my thoughts since 1996, until she brought him up.

I was reliably informed that after Tom got back home from the military, he resumed his life as if nothing changed. He went back to his old destructive ways that included alcohol and drug use. Both of which I never want in my own life, so I knew to steer clear of him.

Now after 29 years, he popped back up into my life and my Facebook DM's.

We had a very brief conversation; I immediately saw where it was "heading" towards and told a little white lie about me being engaged. That stopped the conversation in its tracks. 

I won't lie and say I wasn't curious about Tom and what has been happening since the last time we spoke, but I'm not curious enough to let someone back into my life who hasn't grown up and has a pretty obvious substance abuse problem.

Some things are better left in the past, and should not be repeated.

I believe this is a perfect example of just that.